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But generalizing seems to cheapen a true story in the same fashion I cheapened the memory of Gabe Alpert.Analyzing and generalizing about my urges never helped me. What I do isn't pretty. It's powerful. It fills my veins with a red-hot urgency. It commands me. It corrupts me. It's astonishing. It's dirty. It's brilliant. I can't control it. I'm not sure I'd honestly want it taken from me. I hate it, yet I love it. Like a devastating hurricane or a burning building, it's raw power has an aesthetic, amoral beauty and implacable purity. The truth is ugly: I love who I am and would never take my own life the way Gabe did. But it still eats away at me, and I'll never understand why I'm a crossdresser. It's just who I am. Accept it.I love to slip on a pair of tight, small pink or purple panties and feel my dick turn hard in the soft fabric. Nothing makes me feel more like a man than wearing a short gray, wool skirt riding tight against my thigh. I hear my heartbeat and know I'm alive when. I pushed my finger further into her, my palm rubbing against her clit.She said’ Oh God it’s good, I am gonna cum”“Look at me” I said. “Who is making you cum ?”“You are”“Say my name, tell me who is finger fucking you”“You are Mac, you are finger fucking me”“Tell me to make you cum’“Mac please make me cum”“Your pussy’s soaking ******, open your legs”She opened her thighs another couple of inches and I pressed my finger into her deep, working faster, and my palm was massaging her clit.“Cum now ******, cum for me and keep pumping my cock”She was starting to tremble below the waist so I realized she was about to finish.“Look at me ******, look in my eyes as you cum, feel what I doing to you”Her mouth opened and she started to moan, getting louder and louder.“Cum for me ******, let me see how you cum, then I will show you how I shoot cum for you”She was shaking quite badly, her hips thrusting on my hand, then she said “Oh God I am cumming, ohhhh God”I could feel a rush of juice in her.
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